Perfectly Clean Does Not Equal Perfectly Happy

I love the feeling of the house when it is all clean and everything is put away. It may be that I enjoy the satisfaction of completing a task. Or it may be that I enjoy having a clean house to wake up to because it allows me the opportunity to be creative rather then starting the day with cleaning.

However, I have learned over the last two weeks have it perfectly clean all of the time does not make me happier. I am a creative person and keeping the house perfectly clean does not allow much room for creativity. I find I miss doing messy crafts, building forts, sewing, baking, drawing, and reorganizing. I've also learned a perfectly clean house does not feel lived in or give much of an impression of how the family interacts with one another.

I am looking forward to being able to have a mostly clean house again. A place where germs, dirt, and bacteria are mostly absent, but where creativity can grow and develop definitely makes me happy. I am glad I have been able to experience a perfectly clean house so I can appreciate and understand how the need for balance and growth rather than perfection make me happier.

Three Blind Mice & Rodeo Days Parade

The theme for our ward float was nursery rhymes. We put together these costumes in about a week because that is how much notice we received. Thank goodness for thrift stores and party stores!

Bridal Veil Falls

On the 4th of July, we hiked Bridal Veil Falls as a family. It was a short hike and we were able to take some pretty pictures.

At Grandma's with Cousins

June was a busy month last year, but we were able to spend a few days visiting Grandma, Grandpa, and Katie while they were taking care of some of our cousins. I'm not sure if we were helpful or just added to the chaos. The children had so much fun painting rocks, playing on the swing, playing in the water and at the park, and playing games.

Rainbow Quilt

Last year, my cousin's wife shared her stories about pregnancy losses. Her openness and optimism helped me to open up to her about my own losses. Then in the summer they found out they were expecting again, and I have loved reading her stories about her pregnancy. One story that touched me the most was the one was the story about a "rainbow baby." To quote directly from her blog "A 'rainbow baby' is a baby that is born after a family experiences a miscarriage, still birth, or child loss. Though there is nothing that can replace the loss, there is joy that comes from such a child. Like that of a rainbow after a storm."

When I lost my babies I didn't know about support groups or rainbow babies. I carried those losses mostly in silence because the few people I shared them with responded with "a baby will come when the time is right" or something similar rather than acknowledging my loss was real and helping me heal. And shortly after 3 of those, I became pregnant with each of my children and spent a great deal of time wondering if this pregnancy would make it and feeling guilty because I could carry this child but not the one who had been there shortly before. It was such a relief to share this burden with her, and to feel the compassion of someone who understands your trial without feeling judged because of it.

Her compassion meant so much to me that I wanted to make something for her. The "rainbow baby" was the inspiration behind this quilt. Working on this quilt has helped me heal in ways I didn't think were possible. I hope she will enjoy it and understand in a small way how much it meant to me to have someone share my burden.

Cousins at Grandma's

Scottish Festival

I would like to say we attend the Scottish Festival annually to celebrate our heritage and learning more about our family history. Mostly, we just attend to see the cool booths, eat yummy food, watch strong men challenges, and fight the giant.