David and Denise's Wedding

David and Denise have now been married for almost 2 months and their last reception is this weekend. In June, we went to Las Vegas for their wedding and Michael was nominated to take pictures at the last minute so we have lots of wedding pictures. The first bunch of pictures are of my beautiful children in their "wedding clothes."

Happy Birthday, Michael!

Happy Birthday, Michael! We love you.

Benjamin and I started off Daddy's day by waking him up singing Happy Birthday to You. Then we all prepared for church, atteneded church, and came home for lunch and naps. The dog decided to snuggle with Dad during naptime instead of curled up next to Mom. For some reason our dog thinks she is our third child and has to sleep with us, be held by us, play with Dad when he arrives home from work, and even go for car rides when the rest of the family leaves the house.

For his birthday, we found a Michael a really nice barbeque grill on clearance for a good price. Michael was so excited we have barbequed at least three times this week (we bought the barbeque last weekend when we found it.) When Benjamin wakes up we will open cards and a couple other presents because Benjamin feels that it is important for everyone to get birthday presents, and we wouldn't want him to miss out on anything he feels is important.

Foam Day and Fireworks

For the 24th of July, Pioneer Day, we packed our day full of activities. We started the day with a breakfast picnic in front of the TV to watch the annual parade. Then we went over to some friends' house and the kiddos played while Mom and her friend, Raegan, canned some apricots. To be exact, we did six batches of jam (Raegan did the second set of batches by herself because I had to run to the hospital for a shot), 1 batch of apricot/pineapple syrup, and 2 batches of apricots. The total results were 24 pints of jam, 7 pints of syrup, and 14 quarts of apricots from about 4 1/2 hours of work with the help of 2 canners.

After we cleaned up our canning mess, we (my family and our friends from the morning) went to the city's annual Fireman Foam Day where the local firefighters set up their firetrucks and sprayed foam all over the crowd. Of course, foam participation was optional but sunscreen was not.

For our next activity, we went over to some more friends' house for a swimming party and barbeque. We had a lot of fun in the pool with our three families, and the barbeque was yummy! We concluded our day with fireworks and pie after dark. It was a wildly busy and fun day.

Pictures from the fireworks "graveyard" after most of the fireworks had been set off.

Covered in fireman foam.

Riding Bikes Together

Bekah is at the stage "If you can do it, I can do it too." The day that brother learned to ride without training wheels Bekah decided to learn how to ride her bike with training wheels. Now, they like to ride their bikes together in the church parking lot, up and down the sidewalk, and to church on Sundays. Bekah can't quite keep up with Benjamin, but at least she can pedal her bike and only needs a little push to get started.

Benjamin Masters the Two-Wheeler

On June 25, Benjamin learned how to ride his bicycle without training wheels! It took some coaxing, and some scolding to overcome tantrums, but he did it all by himself. I have an awesome video of his expertise but blogger won't let me post it.

2010 Began . . . about 8 Months Ago

For New Year's, we had a snack and game party at our house. Then at midnight we set off fireworks with our friends that were partying with us. Happy New Year!

On a More Personal Note . . . .

I have spent the last two days scheduling blog posts for the next two weeks. Mostly, catch up on pictures I have taken but not yet posted. I spend a lot of time on the computer every day but find it hard to focus on anything of importance between child interruptions and the pain and exhaustion of this pregnancy. I've also been trying to finish off some other projects, starting some new projects, organizing my house (which some times feels like shifting piles from room to room until they gradually grow smaller), and preparing for this baby to arrive.

My current pregnancy has by far been the worst pregnancy of the three. People keep telling me it is worth it and it will all be over soon which hurts, a LOT. It makes me feel like there is no reason I should be in this much pain all of the time, something I cannot control and I have tried to ignore to my own detriment, and that people don't really care about how I feel, I'm just a way to get another child into this world. I am reading this awesome book called Help Me to Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know by Lori Hope. While I do not have normal cancer, but a lot of the pain and emotional trauma I am experiencing with my current illness are similar to those of cancer patients. I am in no way trying to belittle the experience of cancer survivors and their families, I can just say I can truly empathize with what they experience. At least I know that my "tumor" will be another, hopefully healthy, human being and that my "lump" will eventually diminish instead of protrude, but I don't know if this "tumor" will kill me because some days it feels like I am not going to be able to live through this much longer.

Back to the book by Lori Hope. In my search for answers as to how I could improve this pregnancy or determine what is causing so much pain, I came across this book in a nearby section of the library and decided to give it a shot. I read the table of contents and felt like it expressed perfectly my feelings and stresses of this current illness. I am about halfway through this book at the moment and I feel very strongly that almost all of the things she talks about can be applied to anyone who has a long-term illness, especially those who experience cancer. To further explain here is the Table Contents from Help Me Live.

1. "It's okay to say or the the 'wrong' thing."
2. "I need to know you're here for me (and if you aren't, why not)."
3. "I like to hear success stories, not horror stories."
4. "I am terrified."
5. "I need you to listen to me and let me cry."
6. "Asking my permission can spare me pain."
7. "I need to forget-and laugh."
8. "I need to feel hope."
9. "Telling me to think positively can make me feel worse."
10. "I want you to trust my judgment and my treatment decisions."
11. "I want compassion, not pity; comfort, not advice."
12. "I am more than my cancer; treat me kindly, not differently."
13. "I want you to help without my asking you to."
14. "I like to be held in your thoughts or prayers."
15. "My moods change day to day; please forgive me if I snap at you."
16. "Hearing platitudes or what's good about cancer can trivialize my feelings.
17. "I don't know why I got cancer, and I don't want to hear your theory."
18. "I need you to understand if I don't return your call or want to see you."
19. "I want my caregiver to take good care of herself or himself.:
20. "I don't know if I'm cured, and bringing up my health can bring me down."

I am more of a suffer in silence kind of person because I hate other people's pity or platitudes and no one seems to really understand what I am saying when I try to describe how I am feeling emotionally or physically. That and I hate people trying to fix me by asking if I have tried this or tried that (my doctor does not count because that is why I go to him) or telling me to just thing positively or think about the end result. I finally snapped at one person who tried to tell me it will all be over in a few months, "The physical pain will be over in a few months but you forget that I get post partum depression. So, no, for me it will not all be over in a few months. Especially since I am still on medication from the last baby I had and she is three." Having children is an uphill battle for me, and raising them doesn't seem to get much easier, but I am doing it as hard as it is.

The book has been thoroughly enjoyable because I finally feel like there are more people who understand what I am feeling and trying to overcome. That someone has or had the same needs that I do in trying to deal with an intense illness.

The good news about all of this is that our baby is a healthy, lively boy who will be joining us in about 2 1/2 months. That is, if I can keep the contractions to a minimum, they seemed to pick up speed this weekend and are still coming and going every few hours. I am not too worried about him being early though since he is related to my other two. With Benjamin, I had about six weeks of preterm labor and with Bekah I had four and a half months of latent labor. Then the two stinkers were late, but this doctor (my third doctor for my third pregnancy) is willing to induce me early if the baby does not make his grand entrance by then of his own accord.

We are excited to add another member to our family. We just wish it was a little less painful to get him here. Life is still moving forward and the rest of my family is healthy and thriving. Enjoy the pictures over the next couple of weeks and see what our summer has been like in a nutshell. I doubt I will have much energy for anything of much more depth than that.

Christmas in July . . . . Kind of

I know it's not July. In fact, these pictures weren't taken last month. No, it's been nearly eight months since we went to Zoo Lights between Christmas and New Year's. I am, however, finallly getting around to posting pictures from our fun filled evening of going to the zoo in the snow to see the Christmas lights, animal style.

A cougar for my two BYU fans

Monkey Tricks

My "monkeys" have thought about trying similar tricks but haven't actually attempted any, thankfully.

It took about 10 shots but I finally caught the alligator with his mouth open. Man, those moving lights were fast!

"Look, Mom! A family of monkeys just like us!"

I think Benjamin was trying to say that it was a family like our family, not that our family is a group of monkeys. But, you never know.

The animals decorating the Christmas tree together.

Riding the carousel with Aunt Joy and Daddy

This reminded me of my kids: always on the go and never wanting to stay were Mom can keep track of them easiest.

Baby Tigers sleeping while Mom was out prowling.

(I didn't get any pictures of the prowling momma because mister wide-brimmed hat wouldn't step out of my pictures.)

Benjamin is the "phantom" in this picture.

Practice for Feeding Baby Brother

Bekah is starting to love babies more and more as we get closer to our little one's arrival. A couple of months ago we were attending the birthday party of a friend and Bekah wanted to try to "feed the baby," and since I was watching him and couldn't bend over without pain I let her try it. She did such a good job and thoroughly enjoyed herself! I am thinking she will be a great big sister when she wants to.