Bigotry at its Best

I went to the store this morning, after taking Bekah to the doctor, to pick up a few things. As I was picking out my last item I get verbally assaulted by this random lady. She tells me that I shouldn't talk to my children like that. I said, "Excuse me?" She replies, "You're kids are too cute for you to tell them to 'Shut up and sit down.' Can't you talk to them a different way?" Having never experienced this before I tell her that I have already tried it five times a different way and this is the only thing that works. To which she responds that she is going to call the police on me because if I treat them that way in public she "can only imagine how they are treated at home." Still trying to decide which ketchup to buy I tell her that they are treated the exact same way at home and she call the police if she wants to. Then we get to good part. She starts asking me if I have a temple recommend and that if I do I must have lied because the way I treat my children is one of the questions and I don't treat my children well enough to have temple recommend because she can see my garments. I promptly respond that that is none of her business and how many children does she have? She emphatically pats her chest and says that she has seven children like someone should give her a gold medal or something. To which I respond, "Well, I feel sorry for them," bend over and ask my children to "please get up," and coax them down the aisle to the checkout stands.

On top of all of her insane comments, the woman did not take time to even look at my children for brusing before starting to make accusations and threats. I am glad that I don't run into uneducated people like her every day or I think I would become a hermit. How can you judge someone to be abusive on a single incident? I mean, unless you see obvious bruising, hitting, or typical abusive responses going on. I do admit that I need to yell at my children less, but that does not mean I abuse my children. Research says so and since my children have been evaluated by a therapist, my therapist who is trained to recognize abuse or neglect, and determined to be functioning fine and not suffering at mine or my husband's hands I think that is a better indication of how my children are being treated than some woman's biased evaluation of a single incident with busy children in a grocery story.

I think the thing that bothers me the most was her self-righteous attitude about having some many children and questioning my temple-worthiness. As far as I know, "Do you yell at your children?" is not a temple recommend question and my doctor had just told me that I can start using timeouts with Bekah just like I do with Benjamin. If my doctor, who just saw my children and evaluated the health and well-being of my youngest is not worried about my parenting, I don't think the opinion of a complete stranger who can't mind her own business is worth much. I just wish that people would move beyond the idea that they have the right to judge someone else's worthiness status outside of a position of authority, especially when the general authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have told not it is not our right or something we should do.

Needless to say, it was an interesting and stressful visit to the grocery store.